Redefining Chivalry

I’ve never read a Steve Harvey book or listened to his lectures on men and women.  But I’m almost certain he’d disagree with my theory. But it’s my theory… so… here it goes…

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My lactose intolerance restricts my consumption of scrumptious Atlanta desserts and so for the second time in a week I visited a holistic restaurant with banging vegan delights. I had scheduled a lunch with my business colleague and since it was my birthday week, he told the waitress to put it all on one check.  But when she returned with the check, I added my debit card to the payment stack and told her to split it.

That’s right. I politely refused his offer to pay for my meal.

Why? He had just closed on a house so I knew he was pinching pennies.

I was looking out for my boy.

(At this point in the story I know half of you are cringing.)

So, later on that evening, I checked all my birthday Facebook posts.  My colleague noted that I shut him down at the restaurant and that #chivalryisdead. I politely informed him that I just upgraded his life with the introduction of vegan desserts so he should be grateful. Ha!

But that’s when I started thinking about the constitution of chivalry.

Follow me.

Back in the day, men had all the jobs. Some even had good paying jobs; you know, the ones that could support two families and such.  

Stay with me.

Back in the day, these men demonstrated their care for a woman by resourcing meals, clothes, houses, and cars that women could not resource themselves. “I have what you need and am willing to share because I care – about loving you (or sleeping with you).”

Stay with me.

Today, some women don’t need support in that way.  I can secure my own meals, clothes, houses, and cars.  So, I’m not particularly filled up with delight, affection, or lust when someone spends on me.  

(I know that there are a lot of good girlfriends out there who feel differently.  That’s cool. But this is my theory. Stay with me.)

So, today the way to demonstrate your care for me is to tell me to slow down.  That’s right.  I oftentimes fill my life with activities and routines that overwhelm me at critical points.  Someone who cares for me recognizes that I try to do too much and that I need protection from my overachieving self.  My loved ones demonstrate care for me with reminders about self care.

So, yes, that OLD chivalry is dead. The new seed of chivalry requires a man to really sit down and take inventory of a woman’s needs.

(Those needs change over time. That’s why you need to study her, always.)

More than 50 years ago, US culture – derived by people living in particular societal conditions – began shifting and chivalry – that is, demonstration of respect/care/love for a woman – stopped evolving.  What are some ways we can revive it to catch up to modernity?

Coolikan Pod/Videocast: Social Justice

The Coolikans sit down with special guest, Ms. Sharity Bannerman (historian, educator and attorney) to talk about the criminal justice system. Tune in as Sharity enlightens us about her journey to becoming a (special interest) lawyer and the journey ahead to addressing the criminal injustices plaguing our society.

 

Honorable Mentions:

Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture || http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2016/09/15/arts/design/national-museum-of-african-american-history-and-culture.html?emc=edit_th_20160916&nl=todaysheadlines&nlid=32120929&_r=1

homepage

From the Heart Christian Ministries || http://www.fthcm.org

The Innocence Project || http://www.innocenceproject.org

Huffingto Post Article on School to Prison Pipeline || http://www.huffingtonpost.com/the-heller-school-/preschooltoprison-pipelin_b_9773826.html

Equal Justice Project || http://eji.org

Sandra Bland’s family settles in a wrongful death suit $1.9M || http://edition.cnn.com/2016/09/15/us/sandra-bland-wrongful-death-settlement/

Jay-Z: The War on Drugs is an Epic Fail || http://www.nytimes.com/video/opinion/100000004642370/jay-z-the-war-on-drugs-is-an-epic-fail.html

Coolikan Podcast: Special Back to School Episode

Tis the season to hit the books and return to the classroom.

Elise and Acasia are passionate about education, learning and understanding and appreciate the teachers who laid the foundation to their success.  This special Back to School Episode podcast features a special guest, Acasia’s mom, a teacher of 24 years and dedicated community leader.

Tune in as Mrs. Barrett talks to us about the highs, lows, and beauty of being a teacher.

POP Quiz: What teacher(s) had the greatest impact on who you are today?

Video:

Audio:

Podcast #14

Happy Memorial Day and welcome to the May Podcast!  We’re covering a number of topics, from the history of Memorial Day to Lemonade, social entrepreneurship and gentrification.  The running theme for this podcast centers on community.

Memorial Day recognizes the sacrifices of our fallen service members who fight daily to maintain the security and freedoms experienced in out national community.

In Lemonade, yes, THAT Lemonade, Beyonce speaks to a community of women who have gone through the ups and downs of relational drama and encourages them to embark upon the journey of healing and wholeness after the hurt.

And speaking of healing after the hurt, after being stung by bees, Little Ms. Mikaila of “Me and the Bees” fame decided to create her own business selling lemonade to bring awareness to the importance of honeybees.  She’s impacting the environmental community with her passion.

Finally, as we witness the ongoing demographic shifts and changes across the U.S. we also can’t help but notice the change in the cultural landscape of many historically black and brown communities. The gentrification of one community results in a displacement and muted experiences of people whose voices are worth hearing. So what do we do? And how do we ensure better alternatives?

**HONORABLE MENTIONS**

Acasia’s New Business Venture – check out my site (http://AcasiaOlson.arbonne.com) and enjoy the countless benefits of Arbonne International’s health, beauty and wellness products.

 

Podcast #13

Happy April.  On this podcast, we talk about pursuing our purpose, passion and dreams.  We pay homage to Prince and Harriet Tubman, and we wax poetic about the journey ahead.

 

Honorable mentions:

The currency of change: https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/it-matters-whos-on-the-money-and-harriet-tubman-fits-the-bill/2016/04/21/c819ef58-07f5-11e6-a12f-ea5aed7958dc_story.html

RIP Prince: http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-36106778

Happy Birthday Queen Elizabeth: http://edition.cnn.com/2016/04/20/europe/queen-elizabeth-90/

Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World –  http://www.amazon.com/Originals-How-Non-Conformists-Move-World/dp/0525429565?ie=UTF8&psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=ox_sc_act_title_4&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER