May 2017 Podcast – In all thy getting…

We’re baaaacccckkkk! After a lengthy hiatus, the Coolikans Elise and Acasia are back at the mic to discuss the world as they live it. This time, they’re talking about information, specifically how to manage and process all the information that we receive.  With so much news and “facts” (alternative and otherwise) going around, how are you responding to it and when is it appropriate give yourself permission to take a breaks? Is it possible to stay woke and take a nap?

Let us know in the comments below.

Thanks for tuning in and enjoy!

 

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HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Strength Finder Test: https://www.strengthstest.com

Revamp your resume with Elise’s resume review business: http://bit.ly/2q9TbxJ

Ms. Jackson: http://eonli.ne/2rLvOLc

Proverbs 4:7  7Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. (http://biblehub.com/kjv/proverbs/4.htm)

 

 

Redefining Chivalry

I’ve never read a Steve Harvey book or listened to his lectures on men and women.  But I’m almost certain he’d disagree with my theory. But it’s my theory… so… here it goes…

jacob-rank-111917

My lactose intolerance restricts my consumption of scrumptious Atlanta desserts and so for the second time in a week I visited a holistic restaurant with banging vegan delights. I had scheduled a lunch with my business colleague and since it was my birthday week, he told the waitress to put it all on one check.  But when she returned with the check, I added my debit card to the payment stack and told her to split it.

That’s right. I politely refused his offer to pay for my meal.

Why? He had just closed on a house so I knew he was pinching pennies.

I was looking out for my boy.

(At this point in the story I know half of you are cringing.)

So, later on that evening, I checked all my birthday Facebook posts.  My colleague noted that I shut him down at the restaurant and that #chivalryisdead. I politely informed him that I just upgraded his life with the introduction of vegan desserts so he should be grateful. Ha!

But that’s when I started thinking about the constitution of chivalry.

Follow me.

Back in the day, men had all the jobs. Some even had good paying jobs; you know, the ones that could support two families and such.  

Stay with me.

Back in the day, these men demonstrated their care for a woman by resourcing meals, clothes, houses, and cars that women could not resource themselves. “I have what you need and am willing to share because I care – about loving you (or sleeping with you).”

Stay with me.

Today, some women don’t need support in that way.  I can secure my own meals, clothes, houses, and cars.  So, I’m not particularly filled up with delight, affection, or lust when someone spends on me.  

(I know that there are a lot of good girlfriends out there who feel differently.  That’s cool. But this is my theory. Stay with me.)

So, today the way to demonstrate your care for me is to tell me to slow down.  That’s right.  I oftentimes fill my life with activities and routines that overwhelm me at critical points.  Someone who cares for me recognizes that I try to do too much and that I need protection from my overachieving self.  My loved ones demonstrate care for me with reminders about self care.

So, yes, that OLD chivalry is dead. The new seed of chivalry requires a man to really sit down and take inventory of a woman’s needs.

(Those needs change over time. That’s why you need to study her, always.)

More than 50 years ago, US culture – derived by people living in particular societal conditions – began shifting and chivalry – that is, demonstration of respect/care/love for a woman – stopped evolving.  What are some ways we can revive it to catch up to modernity?

Not of this world

Acasia – Originally written in 2016

I am a Christian in a Muslim nation. I do not feel or worry about the threat of persecution.  I remember my first experience worshipping at the local church. It looked like what I would describe as heaven, people from every nation and tongue, assembled together to praise and celebrate Jesus. Before arriving, I had a phone conversation with a person who once visited this part of the world. She mentioned underground churches and said I would get in trouble if I read my Bible in public or had Bibles mailed here. But, that’s not true, at least not in this particular country or within my experience. There are several known and fully operational Protestant and Catholic churches in town. Yet, I know this is not the case for my Christian brethren living in parts of the world where the pronouncement of their faith is met with assault, imprisonment or even death. I acknowledge that I have what some would title “religious privilege” and “cavalier faith”. I do not, nor have I ever worried about being targeted for celebrating Christmas, listening to praise and worship music in my car with the windows rolled down, assembling people for open invitation Bible study at my house or attending a church service in a publicly identified building in broad daylight. Nope, not once, not even while living in a Muslim nation.  Hell, weeks before Christmas, local grocery stores had Christmas Decorations on full display and on Christmas Eve, a lady in her hijab wished my husband and me, and everyone else in her check out line, a Merry Christmas!

So I’m trying to figure out how I, a Christian living in a Muslim nation, had such freedom and opportunity to openly assemble in church buildings, and go to weekly Bible Study without fear of being ratted out.  I wear my cross jewelry without being deported or having it ripped off my body, or walk around in my jeans and t-shirt without the fashion police forcing me to throw on a black robe.  And yet Muslims in America, which is not, nor ever has been, a Christian Nation, have folks drafting plans to ban them. These same folks are the ones who would deny black and brown folks the right to vote and “Make America Great Again”. Amirite?

For those still living in this bubble or haze of xenophobia and islamaphobic ignorance, here’s what I’ve experienced as a Christian living in this particular Muslim nation:

  • The worst of it: Crazy @$$ driving, awful commuter traffic (because traffic doesn’t exist anywhere else in the world – sarcasm*) and hot @$$ summers
  • The source of growing pains: Not being able to eat, chew gum or drink in public from sun up to sundown during Ramadan, which provided empathy for Muslims living in non-Muslim nations during Ramadan. In fact, I could eat in my house and considered Ramadan a great time for my own fasting; The term “Inshallah,” or “God willing” which many expats translate to “one day but not today” or “maybe”;  witnessing the transient workers out all day during the hotter months to build skyscrapers and new high rises; the instant, skin melting heat and thick, dusty air that gets stuck on your lungs; construction at all hours of the night when living in the city.
  • The amazing parts: The diversity of people, who are kind and humans (not monsters not radicals not terrorists), there are your hipsters, your gym rats, your cobras (men who rock thobes and ghutras (traditional head piece) that look like a cobra, your fabulous women who look like they stepped out of a catalogue and reminded me of the glorious days of the Ancient Egyptians who probably invented fashion; the food, including pesticide free produce and succulent restaurant selections; the western-inspired clothes and music played on the radio; the dates growing off the date palm in the summer; the colorful farmers’ market in the cooler months; the random person walking their camel, riding their horses down the road or kids pushing the mule and cart; my favorite Indian or Pakistani bicycle DJ playing music and turning heads while pedaling around the neighborhood; Joss Stone performing at the Spring of Culture concert; color runs and desert camps for National Day; the Harley motorcycle rides; the Friday Brunches featuring live music and incredible food stations; the ability to get news in other languages than English and Arabic; rain after the hot season; the fancy cars and home decor; movie theaters with food delivered to your seat when you order from an iPad; the fact that you can order anything and have it delivered, including a Snicker’s bar and a Dairy Queen Blizzard; the souk (aka market place) and learning how to barter/bargain for a good deal on scarves and trinkets; epic rug flops with delicious food and “magic” carpets; henna boutiques and massages; the malls; addictive karak (pronounced kah-rack) tea and saffron infused Arabic coffee; the distinct and hypnotizing perfume; the pearls; the beautiful weather from November through April; the genuine hospitality; the language; the daily call to prayer and soul stirring reminder that God truly is Almighty

Would you know, they even have a U.S. Appreciation Week! But of course no one thinks that “radical Muslims” would celebrate our beloved nation.

As a Christian in the U.S., I never had to use secret codes or worry that my friends on Facebook will see my posts and links to sermons and report me to my family or the authorities. I didn’t have to fear that my church would be raided; and the only roster that I’ve ever been on helped the church determine its “guests” and new “members” while affording me the luxury of a welcome letter in the mail and a cute little gift bag to thank me for visiting. In the states, my biggest church-related “dread” was having to circle parking lots for a space at one of three full to overflowing worship services. I did this without fear of being arrested.

In the Muslim nation that I call home, I have driven, in broad daylight, to churches situated across the street from mosques, both assemblies dismissing at the same time.  No bombings, no slurs or attacks. A simple acknowledgment and nod of the head before walking to our cars parked on the sidewalk for lack of available spaces. The only traffic jam I encountered was caused by a service so packed, we had to wait our turn to exit the grounds in our car – a car which had a license plate to clearly identify us if you couldn’t see our faces.  In this Muslim nation, I have had a chance to attend events where most, if not all the folks in attendance practiced Islam, and I didn’t get kicked out or berated when they found out I was Christian. No one threw a hijab or abaya on my head and said, “You’re in Bahrain now honey, you need to cover up.” No one forced me to cover my hair, hands, face, body. No one dragged me to the mosque or shoved the Quran down my throat and called me an infidel for not knowing any Surahs.

Yes, I know, there are exceptions and no place is perfect. Yes, other nations and communities might very well endorse the aforementioned and I won’t dismiss that or pretend it’s not real. I’m grateful, though, that I have the freedom to wear jeans and a t-shirt, expose my face and drive my car, and converse with women and men and go to the pork section of the local grocery store to get an occasional slab of bacon or ribs. So let me be one of many to dispel the notion that Muslim societies are oppressive, violent, or any more dehumanizing than White supremacist America. Mine was a peaceful experience.

I’ll admit, I’ve taken my religious privilege for granted. I’ve forsaken the assembly and fellowship of the believers or corporate praise and worship in-person, and have soaked in the luxury of watching a sermon online. This, in part, stems from the burning, and confirmed, suspicion that predominantly white church leadership rarely speaks to social injustices plaguing the various groups that comprise its congregation, some groups of which I identify. But that’s another topic for a future post. The honest answer is that I have religious privilege. Like anyone who isn’t a member of the persecuted or oppressed or marginalized community, I can go about my day without once worrying if my loved one was murdered or detained for leaving their Bible in the car. I can rest at night because I don’t consider that this might be the night when I have to flee the neighborhood or go before the authorities and answer a series of questions on this Christian missionary or that pastor who was on trial for spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I can listen to Christian songs or watch sermons and videos on my computer without any of it being blocked and not once have I had to sneak a look at my Bible or hide my music playlist from family members who don’t believe in Jesus. And this has continued while living as an expat in a Middle Eastern Muslim nation.

These are thoughts on paper, but I’m blown away by this thing called religious freedom and specifically religious privilege. And I need anyone reading this, whether you are Christian or atheist, to think about the foolishness unfolding in the U.S. Really think about it. If you’re Christian, you know about the persecuted church. You know about the voices of the martyrs and the people who are threatened daily for their beliefs. If you’re an American Christian or a “Western” Christian, and I speak to you only because that’s the context of my Christian identity, I need you to step outside of your western, WASPY Eurocentric Christian privilege. Deny it the way GOD denied His very own deity to become a brown-skinned, middle eastern, Aramaic speaking homeless revolutionary, aka JESUS, and think about what’s going on. Don’t just think, do better. The church is already suffering from a serious hijacking and infiltration of its potential by various charlatans and cowards. Don’t let it continue. Don’t be on the wrong side of history. Don’t repeat the sins of any and all other “churches” that remained silent, complicit and passive in the face of fascist leaders and mass persecution.

Check your religious privilege and call to love and serve and remember that they, the clowns behind this, can and, if you put it past them, will come for you. Since All Lives Matter, show it, don’t just tell it. 

This message was brought to you for the love of God and people. 

 

Ten Things I Wish The Evangelical Church Knew About Me

Millennial notes on equity, social justice, and inclusion in the evangelical church

1. I feel most included in the delivery of church sermons when the referenced quotes don’t come from only white males and (occasionally) Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

2. I nod in agreement when the vision of America’s Founding Fathers is taught as one piece of a prophetic roadmap and not an infallible statement of where we are today in this country. The revolution of 1776 is yet incomplete.

3. I grow uncomfortable when church leaders elevate scripture’s cultural context above the principles of Jesus to justify one group’s priority position over another’s.  For instance, we are told that women can’t share God’s truth from the pulpit although a woman – Mary Magdalene – was the first forerunner of the message of the resurrected Christ.

4. It frustrates me when calls to prayer for our nation only surround the appointment of a Republican party representative or advancement of a conservative position.  I don’t recall many prayers going up for the Obama and Biden families or for health care access for citizens of this nation.

5. I am most confused when church members cast asides about certain sectors of society that they’ve never been in, interacted with, or influenced. Have you visited an inner-city? Have you mentored a millennial?

_t9quy5akkm-jazmin-quaynor.jpg6. I love worship. I do. Can we put some songs in rotation that will allow me to clap on the second and fourth beats?

7. I don’t fully understand current conflicts in the Middle East and the church’s priority position to support Israel. Some info-lessons would be nice.

8. I don’t believe that every ambitious woman is possessed by a Jezebel spirit.

9. I believe that small groups can be strengthened by equipping leaders to recognize signs of depression and loneliness.

10. I don’t think we’re ready to receive – i.e. minister to – the members of society we believe are part of the great harvest.  Are we ready to reveal the Father’s heart to former victims of sex trafficking? Can we deliver practical messages about revitalizing hope to men and women who were once suicidal? Do we have generous processes for moving people from poverty to prosperity? [One church body can’t do it all — so are we even connected to other bodies of believers who can fill in the gaps where we fall short?]

What are some of your moments of contemplation or consternation concerning your membership in today’s non-denominational (evangelical) church? Tell us in the comments below!

Throughout the year, I’ll be expounding on these thoughts – offering both concession and assertion arguments – to strengthen today’s church and my role within it.  Hint: To make things more “millennial friendly”: pay tribute to diversity and chisel us with God’s truth so that we can change the world!

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Post-edit: Look at what Johnny Enlow posted on January 20th!

I knew…

by Elise Lockamy | @warriorlise

wsj_oct3_peace

I knew. On October 3rd, I scooped up a (free) morning edition of the Wall Street Journal from the hotel lobby on my way to catch my shuttle to LAX.  During my read, I took note of the following words on the front page.

“The results mark another instance of voters rejecting counsel from their government and the establishment, after the U.K. vote to leave the European Union in June.”

After reading that line referencing the recent voter rejection of a Colombian peace treaty with rebels, I knew that the United States would experience its own “buck” to the establishment.  I didn’t want to believe it, but I knew that Donald Trump would be the next President of the United States.

As much as I love Jesus, I’m not big on that whole Republican kick. So, no, I am not thrilled about Mr. Trump’s election.  However, I am excited to report that alongside the rise of this outside occupier, rises a non-traditional crop of political leaders and decisions that also evidences voter rejection of the status quo.

Kamala Harris is now the junior senator of California.  She becomes the second Black woman ever elected to the U.S. Senate.  The state of Minnesota elected its first Somali-American Muslim female legislator, Ilhan Omar.  And some more states opted to raise their minimum wages. The culture is shifting and if it’s moving toward increased diversity in representation and reduced economic disparity, I’m here for it!

I’ll be watching Mr. Trump’s administration closely.  I know that many of my #woke and #empowered peers will be too.  In fact, I hope we all apply for jobs at the White House, ready to buck the establishment there so that it favors equity.  In the meantime, we gon’ be alright ya’ll.  We gon’ be alright.

Coolikan Podcast #18: Politics and the Pulpit

This upcoming election day and the marathon to this day looks…crazy. We have an opportunity to elect candidates that have caused many people to question and worry about the U.S. Political system as we know it. So many people are talking but shooting out sound bites and making noise. And what about the voices behind the pulpit? Coolikan takes a few minutes to discuss the influence on politics and the pulpit and the pulpit on politics and the mess that this can and has made.

Honorable Mentions:

Coolikan Pod/Videocast: Social Justice

The Coolikans sit down with special guest, Ms. Sharity Bannerman (historian, educator and attorney) to talk about the criminal justice system. Tune in as Sharity enlightens us about her journey to becoming a (special interest) lawyer and the journey ahead to addressing the criminal injustices plaguing our society.

 

Honorable Mentions:

Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture || http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2016/09/15/arts/design/national-museum-of-african-american-history-and-culture.html?emc=edit_th_20160916&nl=todaysheadlines&nlid=32120929&_r=1

homepage

From the Heart Christian Ministries || http://www.fthcm.org

The Innocence Project || http://www.innocenceproject.org

Huffingto Post Article on School to Prison Pipeline || http://www.huffingtonpost.com/the-heller-school-/preschooltoprison-pipelin_b_9773826.html

Equal Justice Project || http://eji.org

Sandra Bland’s family settles in a wrongful death suit $1.9M || http://edition.cnn.com/2016/09/15/us/sandra-bland-wrongful-death-settlement/

Jay-Z: The War on Drugs is an Epic Fail || http://www.nytimes.com/video/opinion/100000004642370/jay-z-the-war-on-drugs-is-an-epic-fail.html